In times of uncertainty, emotional overwhelm can quietly take hold, showing up as anxiety, fear, sleeplessness, or a constant sense of unease. We sat down with Molly Kehr, Clinical Director at Midwest Center for Personal & Family Development, to talk about what she’s observing in our Minneapolis community.
Molly offers a thoughtful perspective on how recent events may be contributing to increased stress and emotional strain for some individuals and families. She also shares practical guidance on recognizing signs of emotional overwhelm, staying grounded during uncertain times, and knowing when additional support may be helpful.
1. Many people in Minneapolis are describing a sense of emotional overwhelm right now. From your perspective as a mental health provider, what are you seeing?
I’m hearing a lot of frustration, anger, fear, and sadness as well as helplessness about current events.
2. When uncertainty feels constant, how does that impact our health?
When there is the feeling of uncertainty, our brain goes into ‘survival mode’ as a defense mechanism, similar to how it responds to fear (fight, flight, freeze, fawn). The way our brain and body responds to stress or uncertainty can be different for everyone. It wouldn’t be uncommon to feel tired or have difficulty with sleep, be more reactive or irritable than unusual, have a difficult time concentrating or feeling motivated and isolate from others more than usual. Physical symptoms may include headache, stomach aches, muscle tension. I typically encourage my clients to prioritize self-care skills such as sleep, exercise, eating healthy/balanced meals, staying hydrated, getting outside and reduce technology use when they can.
3. How can people stay connected to others without absorbing others’ fear or stress?
I think being around others can be both good and bad. It’s important to set boundaries around conversations or the amount of time talking about heavy topics. Being around friends and family can also be a great distraction! Finding an activity to do with others. During difficult times in life we often feel like we aren’t allowed to have “good or fun” moments so it’s important to practice ‘Both/And thinking’ to help the difficult situation from becoming your entire identity, ie: I can carry the heaviness of this moment, and it’s okay to laugh at a joke or enjoy this moment.
4. What guidance do you offer to parents who are trying to support children through this time?
Kids are naturally curious and often more aware of current events than we think. Whether through peers or the internet, many children are hearing about ICE, which can lead to feeling scared, worried and sad. It can also disrupt sleep, their ability to concentrate at school, and lead to an increase in behavioral issues. In my experience, parents often hesitate or avoid talking about heavy topics because they don’t have all the answers or don’t know how to bring it up. It’s important to remember that the purpose of talking to your kids isn’t about being able to answer all their questions or having the perfect conversation, it’s about letting them know it’s okay to talk to you and allowing them to have a safe space to process their thoughts, feelings and questions. A great way to start a conversation is by just being curious, ‘Have you heard people talking about ICE at school?’
- Let them ask questions they might have.
- Keep explanations simple and age appropriate.
- Be honest with your responses and remember it’s okay to not know all the answers. You can always look into something and get back to them.
- Normalize and validate their feelings, ie: “It’s okay to feel scared sometimes” versus “you don’t worry about it” which can seem dismissive.
5. What are simple ways families can create a sense of safety and predictability at home?
I encourage families to:
- Keep routines and structure in place as best as they can.
- Be mindful of how much exposure to media or conversations they might overhear.
- Model good self-care and take care of yourself. Kids are very intuitive and often know when adults are stressed or worried which can unintentionally create a barrier for them to reach out for support.
- Focusing energy on things in our control versus outside of our control.
- Identify “safe people” they could go to at school, family or neighborhood if they feel scared.
- Asking your kids how you can best support them versus assuming what they need.
One of my favorite quotes from the iconic Mr. Roger’s is… ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.” Focusing on the “helpers” shifts the perspective from fear to the realization that there is still good in the world which can help some of the emotional weight we are dealing with.
