The Case For Gathering

Imagine a day of normal grocery shopping. Maybe you head to the store with a few kids in tow, or better yet, have your groceries delivered by a paid shopper. It’s so efficient, effortless really. You make a meal that’s optimal for time and nutrients. You eat quickly, while standing in your kitchen. Don’t make food for anyone else, they’re too picky. Dinner is just a box to check, after all. Now you can move on to more important measures. 

Now, an alternate scenario. Instead of going to a large grocery store, you head to a local farmers market with your kids, maybe a friend or spouse. As you walk, you’re greeted by friendly business owners and shoppers alike, all enjoying the finite sunshine of a summer day. As you shop, you learn about seed libraries, community resources, farmers, beekeepers, and bakers surrounding you. Local produce availability shapes your meal plan for the evening. Maybe you’re in the Hmongtown market on the East Side and pick up fresh herbs, plus a few Thai chili peppers to try something new.

As you head home, you’re excited to experiment with a recipe you haven’t tried. Ordinarily you cook alone, and in silence, but tonight, the music is turned on and everyone’s invited to contribute. Imagine being so excited about your new dish you gather your family around the table to enjoy the meal together – maybe even invite a neighbor or two. Over dinner, you discuss your new favorite food, Thai chili peppers, and then the Red Hot Chili Peppers, and eventually you’re discussing every song and band you’ve ever heard. You bring out pictures from an old album, from the time you waited for hours with your best friend to be front row at a concert you can hardly remember now. What you still remember is the person who stood next to you. In the same way, years from today, you won’t remember the food you ate during this dinner, but you won’t forget the people gathered around the table. 

Is the second route more time consuming? Yes, but will it take your day from routine to ritual? Absolutely. Creating moments to remember doesn’t require exorbitant amounts of money, or a plane ticket, or even a spotless house. It only requires seeking inspiration and giving others an invitation. 

Gathering for meals is a sacred thing, but it’s not a complicated one. In an interview on the Harvard EdCast, Anne Fishel illuminated that regular family dinners lead to increased mental health, physical health, and academic performance in people of all ages. Five shared meals per week is the turning point to reap these benefits, but even one is better than nothing. The Family Dinner Project has resources for recipes, conversation topics, and more. 

For tonight’s dinner, head to the Hmongtown farmers market on the East Side. Gather herbs and Thai chili peppers for two recipes from Ong and Julie on our care team at East Side Clinic: glass vermicelli noodles and a fresh chili sauce. Slow down your day for a few hours. In a world of AI and automated efficiency everywhere we look, the real challenge is choosing how to make magic of the mundane, and relax our breakneck pace into a more deliberate and purposeful life, one meal, one connection at a time.