The end of summer is always a mix of emotions. Sadness for the end of long warm days. The conclusion of barbecues, time outside, swimming and splashing. Excitement for autumn days of sweaters and pumpkin carving, chilled air and warm cooking, a season of coziness creeping in. Right in the middle of these two emotions lands the feeling of going back to school. Some can’t wait to get back to a steady routine of seeing friends and learning each day. Others dread heading back to increased structure and social pressures. No matter how your child is feeling, we’re here to help. Here are a few insights and strategies to make this year great.
Expect Resistance
Change is uncomfortable, even if it’s a familiar one. Expect some resistance as schedules shift and discomfort grows. One way to get ahead of this is to have an honest conversation about the reason your family’s routine is changing. If you’re implementing stricter rules, like an earlier bedtime during the school year, maybe the reason is, “We want you to be successful in school, which is easier with a full night’s rest.” Having a clear and established rationale for changes in routine can help you stay consistent in the face of pushback.
Invite your kids to share how they’re feeling. Acknowledge that it’s understandable to feel worry or stress about school. Ask how you can make them feel supported. And remind them, the best things emerge during times of growth.
Give Grace
You have established the goals of your new routine, and you’re sticking to the program, but no one is perfect. That’s okay! No child requires perfect parents for a great childhood. When we inevitably mess up, use it as a chance to model grace and forgiveness for your little ones, and for yourself. This can often take the form of verbal reflection, saying something like, “Looks like we wandered from our routine, let’s reset,” or “I lost track of time, so we didn’t get to eat dinner as a family. I’m going to set an alarm so I won’t miss dinner together tomorrow. This matters to us because [your why].” By modeling how we handle missteps, we remind children that the value lies in building the new routine and the connection it creates, not in perfection.
Reflect, Anticipate, Enjoy
One of the best ways to navigate the change of seasons is by embracing them with all of the emotions they bring, good, bad, and ugly. During your family time, try asking a question or two from each of the following categories:
Reflect:
- What was the best part of your summer?
- What will you miss about summertime?
- How was this summer different from last?
- What things will your senses miss- what will you miss seeing, hearing, smelling, touching, and tasting?
Anticipate:
- What are the best parts of fall?
- What are you looking forward to this season?
- What parts of school do you enjoy?
- What are you looking forward to learning about this year?
- Let’s try something new this fall. Should we look for a new hike, pumpkin patch, or recipe?
- What is one thing that reminds you of fall for each of your senses?
Enjoy:
Reflection and anticipation help to process seasonal grief and help anticipation bloom, but it’s equally important to make the most of the only time that’s guaranteed: The present. Make time to talk. Take time to act– go outside. Enjoy these lingering summer rays, the giggles of your little ones, and the time you have for one another.
